Wise Words for Moms
So, back to the whining issue. Ginger has a kit called "No More Whining" and in it are two books and a "no whining" watch. The "No More Whining" book is the parent guide for the kit explaining how to handle the situation and use the other tools involved. The second book is called "Whining Will" and is about a little boy who comes whining to his mother because he is thirsty. In the story the mother tells him she is not going to give him anything when he is whining. She explains that the Bible says we should use self-control, not whine. So she gives him the "no whining" watch and he goes away and waits for the watch to beep three minutes later. When it does he comes back to his mother and asks her for a drink using his manners and self-control. Its that easy!
In the kit you also get a watch. After reading this story "Whining Will" to your child you implement the same technique when your child displays their undesired behavior. It really does work and rather quickly I might add. I remember in the seminar Ginger Plowman said it usually only takes about a week for the behavior to change and that was pretty much our experience as well. Of course it only takes a week for the behavior to initially change but there are times when it will start to creep back in again. At that point you just use the watch again. We have actually not had to use the watch in quite some time, not even with the move! A gentle reminder seems to do the the trick anymore, but its nice to know its there if we need it.
Gess never had a problem taking the watch, but she hated to put it on. She hates anything on her wrist or in her hair for very long. So for kids with sensory issues like that you can still implement the procedure, just take them to their room and put the watch on their dresser while they wait on their bed for it to beep. Gess would always bring me the watch when it was beeping. If they play with it too much they can stop the timer, but having to keep starting over again is usually enough incentive to learn to leave it alone. For a special needs child I think it is a great tool to help them visually see what is going on in any "time out" situation. In fact, they are not really in time out, rather they are waiting to try again, but they now have a tool that gives them assurance that they will get that second chance. It also offers the consistency needed to make any discipline program successful.
When the watch beeps the children are gently cued that their time is up and they may now ask for the drink (or whatever they were wanting) again using their manners. Of course, there were times when her watch beeped and I had to remind my daughter what it was she wanted to begin with! She would forget that she had just "demanded" a drink or something. Regardless, she still managed to learn to use her manners and self-control in those situations. No, she doesn't always do so 100% of the time, but she now understands that manners and self-control are the desired behavior in those circumstances and most importantly she understands why. Using our manners and self-control are the way in which we demonstrate to others that we love them!